Putting the Un in Unforgivable
by Desenchanter
Summary: "You'll never forget it, will you?" she whispered, her eyes down casted. His silence was enough, it seeped deeper than any hallow lie of forgiveness. And though she loved him, she knew she couldn't stay… worse, it was all her fault.


**Summary: ** "You'll never forget it, will you?" she whispered, her eyes down casted. His silence was enough, it seeped deeper than any hallow lies of forgiveness. And though she loved him, she knew she couldn't stay… worse, it was all her fault.

**Warnings**: Infidelity, sexual content and lewd language.

**_Putting the 'Un' in Unforgivable  
_**_No Such Thing As Perfection_

How did it all end up this? How did they end up in such a shameful situation? Why… why did they drag it out so long? It was her fault, yet again. Though, she dare say she was the perfect girlfriend in every other aspect, ideal fiancé, and a wonderful wife but… when one mistake was made, that all no longer mattered. Everything went to hell. She swallowed down the resistance. Her heart begged her not to do it but it _had_ to be done.

The room spun, it wouldn't quit even as she turned her hazels to her husband who was fully focused on some task at hand. He never liked idle hands, not anymore; he had to do something to keep his mind off of everything.

Finally, she parted her lips to whisper, "you'll never forget it, will you?"

He glanced up to her, quickly, confession flickered across his face but his bent brow fell once he saw the look upon hers. The way her eyes were down casted easily told him what she referred to. He could tell her the same hallow lie as always. That of course he would, he had forgiven her, all would be fine but… this time, he didn't bother. He just turned back to finishing the kitchen cabinet that had been squeaky for days, driving him crazy bit by bit, pretending as if he hadn't heard her plea.

Her heart hung heavy, guilt grabbed it tighter with each throb, she felt sick… as she always did, was she meant to live like that? Forever and always? Would it have been different if she never confessed her shame? If she kept it bottled up, hidden from him forever? He would never have found out the truth… now he'd never forget and without doing that he could never forgive.

It was those damn vows "through thick or thin, through good or bad" that he stuck with the marriage. He held onto a disillusion that he couldn't do better than her, perhaps even a dash of nostalgia of their early days of bliss—maybe even a pinch of hope that it could one day return to that? That his trust she broke could somehow be repaired?

But, deep down, they both knew the truth. He rarely gave out his trust and those who broke it… could never earn it back.

The silence he gave as an answer was more powerful than anything else he could say, its implication broke down the fragment of her mind that told her she couldn't. It was all her fault—she should stay to suffer through the consequences. Yet, she wasn't strong enough to. She couldn't do this anymore… she had already broken her vows.

"I know I made a horrible mistake, it's unforgivable," she whispered, trying to keep a steady voice as she leaned against the doorway to the kitchen. Her stare shifted to what laid just inside the living room, barley out of his ability to see. This time, she didn't ask, she said it sternly, "you'll _never_ forget it."

"Kagome," irritation etched itself deep into her name as it left his lips, he suppressed a growl as he glanced over to her, "stop. Why bring this up?"

Because a whole year had faded and nothing had changed, their marriage was as broken as it was the morning she returned to the surprise of her husband finally being home… no, she shut her eyes as she raised a hand up to her temple, she couldn't let flashbacks have its way with her mind yet again. Regret, it was the worst feeling.

The most random things would spark her memory of that night that marked the death of their life together. Flowers, drinks, a crystal glass, mahogany wood, the smell of rose musk, hell, even the color blue. Remorse would rip her heart apart; she _couldn't_ live like that—not anymore. Maybe it wasn't really what was best for the both of them, but she had fooled herself into believe it was.

She heard him swing the cabinet door, free from any squeak, he had returned to his list of chores. Again, she opened her eyes to turn her attention to the living room. It was dark, evening had begun to fall and no lights were on expect for within the kitchen. Gradually, her gaze glanced over their furniture until it landed upon the wall of photos—all preceding her _mistake_, back when they were _happy_.

When her eyes landed upon one picture in particular she felt her heart clench so tight within her chest she wasn't sure she could breathe… there they were, inside a bar with their friends celebrating the good news of his promotion. She knew when she married him how important his work was to him, he would always be traveling all over the country trying to catch bad guys. It was surely his calling and when they were dating she didn't mind it too much, one week he'd be there, the next he wouldn't.

But when he received his lifelong goal, his _promotion_, it changed… he was gone more often, he had less time to call her, sometimes days would go by before she heard him. When she was having a bad day, when she wanted to bitch and moan, she'd call her husband—that was what they were for, right? Moral support?—and he'd be too busy to chitchat. He wasn't there anymore.

In all reality, she couldn't blame him for what she did. It was out of her own weakness that she wound up where she did… waking up to a see a stranger's face.

**Ж**

Yet another try to call her husband went to voicemail, he was probably in a late meeting trying to brainstorm with his team how to get this new bad guy behind bars. Frustrated would not fully describe the way she felt as she grumbled a curse and threw her phone back into her purse. She had been working late that night, why not, right? What did she have to come home to other than an empty house and microwave dinner?

Upon her walk home she always past by the same bar, _Alibi_, and never had she gone in. That night something inside her was dying for a drink so she strutted in and up to the bar, ordering her favorite—sparkling sake, why not treat herself? One, two, three downed and then… he showed up.

A haughty grin upon his lips was what she saw first before her attention turned up to a pair of perfect blue eyes. She didn't even really pay any heed to his pickup line; honestly she wouldn't remember it the next day anyway.

What she did remember was this, "can I buy you another?"

Her rationalization for saying yes was that letting a man buy her a drink wasn't cheating, just being friendly, so she said, "sure."

He tapped his hand upon the mahogany counter to get the bartenders attention. Another sparkling sake for her, a new crystal glass of brandy for him.

Another factor it what was about to happen was this—she hadn't had sex with her husband in well over seven weeks. His latest assignment had him in Osaka for the past three weeks; he had just gotten back from another two days before departing and was too _tired_ to fuck his wife. She was still angry about that, even if she shouldn't have been.

The flirter's tempting lips caught her attention more than once, along with his gliding eyes—their obvious pleasure in the sight before him. She felt… pretty, beautiful, _sexy_, all of which she hadn't in so long. Whenever he was home he was still at work during the days, still consumed with it, and they had been married long enough that flirtation amongst them had stopped a while ago. Honestly, their marriage had reached a slump—later, her husband would swear that there _could_ have been a rise once more.

She knew it was true… that they weren't anymore close to a divorce; it was her action that put that notion into motion.

She had one too many and couldn't trust herself, but she wasn't thinking like that. When he dipped down for a kiss she pretend at first he had gone too far but when his lips moved to her ear, what he whispered melted away her conscious, "baby, please, won't you stay the night with me? A woman of your caliber doesn't deserve anything less than perfection. I can show you how _perfection_ feels."

Later she'd say if she hadn't drank so much then she would have said no but… she'd never know if that was the truth, nor would her husband.

Ever.

She barely remembered how they got from _Alibi_ to his apartment. One thing led to another, his clothes were discarded in a pile, and hers topped it off. The entire time she felt dizzy, her head spun as he paid her such diligent attention. His tongue played with her below, his talented fingers taunting her sweet spot, she bit her bottom lip as they curved up, her hands grasping his sheets, her body arching at the throbbing that he caused her.

Muffled, she'd moan out an, "_un_," over and over again as he proceeded to cause her to drip from desire.

"Un!" she cried out when she felt him thrust within her, filling a part that had been hadn't been touched let alone _filled_ in far too long. His calloused hands parted her legs more so that he could deepen his plunges, hitting the same _mindboggling_ time and time again. All the while, she could smell his cologne of rose musk or something akin to it.

In one last push it was over, she felt the height of bliss… shouldn't her husband be the only one that could spark such an outrageous orgasm from her? That thought, though, wouldn't ridicule her until later… the next morning for starters, when she awoke to see a face that did not belong beside her.

Her mistake crashed down on her like an anvil as she leaped out of bed to collect her clothes, knocking over a vase of phony flowers on the table she tried to make her escape.

"Hey, babe," the stranger greeted as he opened his blue eyes, "those little sounds you make the _un_, I've never heard them before. They're cute."

She merely stared at him blankly before she slid on her skirt and top before finding her shoes and fleeing without another word. The moment she got home she threw her clothes in the washing machine and turned it on before leaping into a scotching hot shower, trying to collect her thoughts all the while.

What the _fuck_ did she do? Should she… tell Inuyasha? Confess her sin? Or keep it to herself, pretend it never happened?

She hadn't a clue as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself; the evidence of what had occurred was destroyed. Her clothes were being washed, her body was free from the fragrance of another, he would never know if she didn't tell him…

"Hey," startled her so much she almost slipped on the tile to bash her head against the sink but she caught herself and the towel around her. "Sorry," he laughed as she turned her wide eyes to the man that leaned against the bathroom door, a haughty grin upon his lips. "Miss me?"

Silence was her reply, her mind was frozen, but her heart already ached sparking an overwhelming need to throw up.

She couldn't… tell him.

"Kagome?" he asked, finally, bending a brow up, "you okay? You look like it's a complete surprise I'm back."

"I… it kinda is," she whispered, "I mean, you're done with that case in Osaka?"

"Finished it up last night," he nodded, a proud smile on his face, "I shouldn't have to go anywhere for a while now. That'll finally give us more time together. I was thinking I could take some of my vacation time, we could go somewhere for a week. It's been too long since we've done something like that."

Suddenly, it came out, surprising her just as much as it did him, "I screwed someone last night."

Someone indeed, since if he told her his name she was too drunk to remember it… she was fairly certain it started with a 'K' though.

"W… what?" he breathlessly inquired, "what did you just say?"

"I didn't mean to," she stumbled as she took a step towards him, "I didn't… it just happened."

"It just _happened_?" he awed, disgust draining the warm expression his face once held. "How can you _fucking_ say that to me?"

"You are never here!" She screamed back.

**Ж**

And that was the start of the argument that would last a month, for three weeks she stayed with her little brother while they tried to work things out. He decided to give it another go and she moved back in, guilt ridden, doing everything in her power to try and win his love and affection back. Eleven whole months had passed by since then and she had at least partially won that battle. The trust was gone, they had some happy moments but… they didn't fight anymore, not like they used to. Now, whenever they were even a fragment close to an argument she'd cave in—he'd always be right.

That irritated the both of them but if she ever dared to keep up the back and forth somehow her infidelity would come into play. Generally, he'd say 'sorry' afterwards, adding how he didn't mean whatever he had just said about it but… she knew each slip up was a sign of how he really felt.

The trust was gone; her horrible mistake would never be forgotten.

Maybe she was meant to forever live like this, walking on egg shells and letting regret tear her apart whenever the smallest thing would remind her of what she did but… she couldn't.

That was why when she heard him pick up his list of chores, projects around the house that he assigned himself—she had lost the right to tell him what to do a year ago…—she decided to finally say it. Her eyes locked on the object in the living room all the while.

"I can't do this," she murmured so meekly that if not for the sound of nothing—no rustle of paper, no cling of his tools, no breath—then she wouldn't have known he heard her. She sighed as she pushed off the doorway to take a step into the living room.

"What did you say?" he questioned.

"I can't do this," she repeated, reaching out to grab the suitcase that she had already packed to pull into sight. His golden gaze grew wide. "You can't forget, you can't forgive me, and I can't… live like this anymore."

"You are blaming _me_?" he coarsely countered.

She shook her head lightly as she looked up to him, "no. I know my faults, and that this is one of them."

"So you're leaving?" he ridiculed as he folded his arms across his chest, "just like that?"

"Don't say that," she ordered, "I've been trying, all the this time but things can't be the way they were… look me in the eyes, Inuyasha, tell me that you'll forgive me. That you still love me like you used to."

"I do love you," he asserted, but that wasn't the same… nothing was the same as it used to be.

She bit her bottom lip before she pulled a folder out of her purse to set it upon the counter closest to her. For a while, her hazels were stuck on it before they turned them up to him. "Divorce papers. I'll take my things. You'll keep yours and the house."

"You've really thought about this, huh?" he asked with a dry laugh, harshly he grabbed the folder to flip it open and see the papers clearly marked.

"Tell me you really want me to stay and… I'll stay," she said, slowly, but he didn't turn his attention to her. He did stop flipping through the papers, for a while everything was still before he set them down and ran his hand down his face.

This wasn't what he wanted… she knew that, but she was also aware that his true desires had died. They could never be the way either had dreamed. They wouldn't be blissfully growing old together. They wouldn't have the perfect happily ever after, because there was no such thing as perfection.

She just learned that the hard way…

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she picked up her suitcase, "I'm so sorry…"

He didn't say anything, perhaps it was because he knew the silence cut deeper than any amount of words could. Slowly she turned around and began walking out, she'd come back for her things later. Everything was so wrong… she knew that, felt it to her core, as she left their house. After she was down the three stairs she turned around to look at it one last time. The day they bought it they thought they'd someday raise a family within it, that they'd live there forever but… it was clear that was never going to happen.

Inuyasha didn't want children with someone he couldn't trust, she didn't want them with someone that no longer fully loved her.

But the guilt that began to seep out of her wasn't from that thought, nor from all that she had done to him, but what she was about to. She pressed her lips as she turned around to see the car that was idling across the street, the one waiting just for her.

The driver, the beautifully blued boy, opened his door as he popped the truck. As soon as she got to him he grabbed her bag and put it in the back for her, his look somber while she stared at it.

"Babe," he began, "you're doing the right thing here."

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath in, what right did he have to say that to her? He was the root cause of the collapse of her marriage. No, it would have been better if she could place the blame upon his shoulders when it was really hers.

Aoki Kouga, the stranger she met at _Alibi_, she had chanced upon him six months ago on her walk home from work. He recognized her instantly, struck up a conversation, and then it occurred to her who he was. She didn't want anything to do with him… but as time continued to tick on with no progress in the repair of her marriage she slowly became drawn to someone who obviously _wanted_ her. Who held no grudge…

It wasn't an affair per se, she never had sex with him (again, rather), never kissed him, never held his hand, but they spoke and that in and of itself was wrong probably. When she made her decision of leaving Inuyasha… she called him and him instantly offered her a place to stay.

Inuyasha deserved better than her, he deserved someone he could love unconditionally, and she simply couldn't be that anymore. That was her justification for leaving… she tried to make it just a little selfless instead. Forever she would be marked for breaking the biggest promise of her life, the one she made to herself, she'd _never_ hurt her love.

But she had… and the damage was done.

"Maybe," she whispered to Kouga all the same as she walked around his red Toyota to open the passenger door as he got back into the driver's seat.

For all of time, she'd wish she didn't look back up to the house one more time. By doing so, she shattered her own heart.

There her soon to be ex-husband stood, staring at the scene he had witnessed with such contempt, later she'd tell him that she had been faithful to him expect for that one occasion. Now wasn't the time, she blinked away the threat of tears as she opened the door and got into the care, covering her face in her hand all the while as Kouga drove off.

This had to be right… if a right could ever arise from a wrong.

_

* * *

_**_A/N: I _**_got this idea when I heard the song 'unforgivable' by The Material. It always seems that Inuyasha is the one doing the cheating (in most Inu/Kag stories, other pairing stories don't count) so I thought why not let it be the other way around? How would that work? __  
I think I'll just leave it as an one-shot for now in less there is a demand for more. I didn't think that this could really be classified as 'Romance' either.  
_

**_Reviews are very appreciated. Thank you for reading_. Hope you enjoyed.****  
**


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